


642 Truths

by Werecakes



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fili can't help who he loves, Frerin is a sweetheart despite what life threw at him, Kili is a novelist, M/M, Mechanic Fili, Mentions of Child Molestation, Mentions of Rape, Nor can Kili, Sibling Incest, the dumb babies need to figure out how to make everything work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:43:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1492120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werecakes/pseuds/Werecakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is never fair as Kili had figured out. It gave you so much in the wrong ways. It gives you someone to love, but it's someone you can't touch. It gives you someone to hate, but you can't hate them no matter how hard you try.</p><p>It feels like a swell of a storm that he's being tossed around in while he tries to write his mystery novels. He tries to distract himself, to anchor himself as he unwillingly falls for his brother's boyfriend while still being firmly in love with said brother. He wants to do more than just be a third wheel, the wing man, he wants to touch, to kiss and caress.</p><p>But life is unfair. It's an abyss of chaos that people fall into.</p><p>Until he decides to look into that abyss and take a leap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, be-the-lights, for betaing and encouraging this messed up world of drama.

Kili stared at the blank page. The cursor flashed and blinked as he glared at the empty document. He hated this. He  _really_  hated this.

  
  


He glanced over to the two blonds that were sitting together, his brother looking at him expectantly while his brother’s boyfriend quietly sat, looking around the small room. Frerin was always a sweet one, always cuter than he ever thought he was, always sweeter than he thought he was, always… better than anyone could ever give him credit for and it just made him all the more pissed off that he was here because it was driving Kili insane. He wanted to hate the blond, shove Frerin out of the room and yell at him for taking Fili away from him. But he didn’t have the heart to. In fact he was finding himself gradually falling in love with the man and it wasn’t his place.  Fili was fiercely protective of his boyfriend, broke a woman’s hand once for groping the man in public. That was one tale to hear, and it still was since Fili still got aggravated over the incident.

  
  


“You know… your problem with writing may not be writer’s block.” Frerin cut the silence.

  
  


“And what the fuck would it be?” Kili swiveled in his chair to look at that overly-sweet, lovely fucker. Frerin’s back stiffened, his hand coming up to adjust his glasses that made him look even more fucking innocent and vulnerable.

  
  


“Kili,” Fili growled with a warning tone.

  
  


Frerin cuffed Fili’s shoulder to keep him in check. Kili was a writer, his world was different from Fili’s, who was a mechanic. Frerin, he too was a writer, but on a completely different level. While Kili enjoyed writing murder mysteries, Frerin wrote children’s fantasies. They were three very different creatures that somehow understood each other at diverse levels.

  
  


“What I mean to say is, this is a home office. You may feel too comfortable here, to not put your mind-set into ‘this is work’. It allows you the comfort of thinking about getting up and turning on the television, or putting in a batch of laundry, anything that could distract you.”

  
  


_You’re the one distracting me_. Kili’s eyes fell to Fili’s hand, how his brother so easily reached over and caressed Frerin’s leg, the way that he used to do to him. He missed that touch.

  
  


“That’s a good idea.” Fili leaned over and nuzzled Frerin’s head. He was always openly affectionate. It was the reason they had to move to this town, far from the one they grew up in. No one knew they were brothers here, not even Frerin. They had the background story of being close friends growing up, changed their names to Fili and Kili. For ten years they had happily lived together… then Fili met Frerin, and everything was just thrown into chaos.  Kili still wished he had cut off the internet when he first started to suspect something, but that was the past, and now was… now… and he fucking  _hated_  how lonely he was.

  
  


“I have a spare room in my office,” Frerin offered, causing Fili to stiffen.

  
  


Fili pulled back, his possessive nature prickling up and leaking into his voice. “I don’t know about that.”

  
  


“What’s the worst he can do?” Frerin moved Fili’s hand from his knee so he could cross his legs. He smiled that charming grin that was so beautiful and made Kili want to puke. “Pay half the rent? Oh, oh! He could have his own key and do his work! Kili- you horrible person!”

  
  


This time it was Fili who hit Frerin in the shoulder causing the other to laugh.

  
  


“Shut up.”

  
  


“You’re being ridiculous.” Frerin continued to smile. He got up and leaned over Kili, the brunet’s head being pushed down by a strong chest. He tried hard not to blush as Frerin typed up the address of his office on the empty document. He pulled back and clapped Kili on the back. “Come over when you want, move your junk in and have at it. I’ll come bytomorrow and give you a spare key.”

  
  


“Uh, thanks.”

  
  


“Yeah, thanks,” Fili grumbled. He pushed himself off the chair, snatching up his jacket off the back of it and turning to his boyfriend. “Hey, honey, we need to get going or we’ll miss lunch.”

  
  


Frerin frowned, looking around the room before leaning over Kili again to look at the computer clock. “Shit, you’re right. Uh, see you around Kili. Thank you for having us over to try to badger you into writing. It was a lovely awkward silence. We simply must try to do it to someone else some time.”

  
  


Kili couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the office space. Hopefully this will work out.”

  
  


“Damn skippy it will.” Frerin waved. “See you around.”

  
  


Kili smiled for the first time in a while. Damn skippy? Frerin was the only person he had ever met to use such a phrase. “See ya.”

  
  


Fili stayed behind though, listening for his boyfriend to get out of earshot before he glared at Kili. “You listen to me and you listen to me good. He’s _mine_  and you  _will_  behave yourself around him. You got that?”

  
  


Kili shot to his feet, moving into Fili’s personal space, his previous anger flooding back. “A year ago you were ‘mine’, or have you forgotten?”

  
  


Fili balked. He blinked rapidly, his mind trying to conjure something back that was spiteful. He wanted his jealousy to take over but Kili was right. If he had never met Frerin he would have still been living here, giving Kili gentle touches, warm kisses. He swallowed down every word, not saying what he wanted to. He still loved Kili, he always would.

  
  


“I’m with Frerin now. I don’t want you messing with him.” It was all his mind would allow.

  
  


“Fucking get out,” Kili growled. This day was stressful enough and Fili was only making it worse.

  
  


His brother hesitated, appearing to think something over before he turned and left. Kili stood still until he could hear the doors to the car outside slam closed. He sat down heavily, running a hand over his face. With a flair of anger he grabbed a book on his desk and threw it across the room, the sound of fluttering pages and the thump against the wall was not even satisfying.

  
  


He hung his head, bunching his fingers into his hair.  

  
  


“Why can’t I hate you?”

  
  


He didn’t know which one he was talking referring to. He wanted to hate Frerin, but Frerin was such a damn good person. He wanted to loathe Fili for breaking his heart, for leaving him for another, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He loved Fili, still. He was hoping that once they were not living together that it would all simmer down and it would feel like a putrid hole in his chest. It only festered, and now he was so desperate to have Fili around that he made up excuses for him to come around. Last time he broke his own sink pipes so that Fili would have to come over and fix them. Today he had begged for him to come over and push him into writing since he was falling behind… But it stung, because he had Frerin with him. Always touching Frerin, always smiling at Frerin, always whispering to Frerin!

  
  


He felt his eyes sting. He squeezed them shut, trying not to cry but the tears fell anyway.

  
  


He wanted to hate them both.

  
  


But he couldn’t.

  
****  
  
  
  


Kili growled in his throat as Frerin once again ventured under his desk, yammering about everything he could think of as he helped Kili set up his new office space. It was a large room, big windows that looked out over the city on its glorious fourth floor vantage point in a town that seemed bias against anything taller than two stories. There were tall trees that thankfully blocked some of the stupid buildings that he didn’t like looking at. It wasn’t ideal but hell, he didn’t have much choice. When Frerin came over with that key, looking all excited, he didn’t have the heart to turn him down.

  
  


So here he was, letting the busy body that was dating his brother take over hooking everything up because he couldn’t keep to himself. He already embarrassed himself a few times much to Kili’s delight. Kili grabbed up a box of random supplies and moved it onto the provided desk and started to put away pads of paper, pencils, pens, and the like.

  
  


“Fili wanted to come over around lunch time to see how you’re settling in,” Frerin continued with his idol chit chat.

  
  


_More like to check in to make sure I don’t have you bent over a desk._

  
  


“He wants to take us to lunch. I keep telling him he doesn’t have to but he’s excited. Having you here means he’ll get to see more of you. Living across town from his best friend seems to have taken a toll on him.” There was a banging sound. “Ow!”

  
  


“What happened?”

  
  


Frerin crawled out from under desk, shaking his hand. “Nothing, just decided to crush my fingers.”

  
  


“Let me see.” Kili took his hand, looking at three fingertips that were bright red, one was split and starting to bleed. “Jeez, what the hell, man? There is literally nothing back there for you to mangle yourself with.”

  
  


“Nah, I’ll always find a way to hurt myself.” He stuck his bleeding finger into his mouth.

  
  


“Don’t do that. Go wash it.”

  
  


“It’s fine.”

  
  


“You’re gushing blood all over my work space.”

  
  


“At least it’s not my period.” Frerin grinned.

  
  


Kili laughed. “What the hell? What is wrong with you?”

  
  


“A little bit of everything. Or nothing.”

  
  


Kili rummaged through one of his boxes, emerging with a box of bandaids. “At least put one of these on.”

  
  


Frerin easily took it and started to put it on. “So, anyway, got your internet and power hooked up, monitor, keyboard, mouse. I tried to kill myself on your speakers.”

  
  


“I can get the speakers.”

  
  


“But-”

  
  


“He said he can get the speakers.” Fili’s voice cut in.

  
  


The two looked over, Frerin pouted openly while Kili looked away. Fili beckoned to his boyfriend who easily came over to him. He received a hug and kiss, his pretty hair tucked behind an ear. “I know you don’t like leaving things unfinished but this is his stuff. Let him do some of it.”

  
  


“Yeah but-”

  
  


“Frerin, he’s not a guest, you don’t have to be a host. He’s working here with you now.”

  
  


The other sighed, finally giving into the logic. “Fine. But you’re going to have to distract me or I’m going to take over again.”

  
  


“Easy enough to do.” Fili purred, kissing the corner of Frerin’s mouth. “We’ll go and pick up lunch while he finishes up and we’ll bring it back here. You still have that small break room, yeah?”

  
  


“Yeah. Oh, oh!” Frerin darted off to the door that separated his office from Kili’s.

  
  


Fili watched his brother who went back to his desk, carefully putting things away. He rubbed the back of his neck while watching the brunet. They hadn’t spoken since last time.

  
  


“I… uh… I’m not here to check up on you, just so you know. I come here a couple times a week to make sure he eats. He’ll… he’ll forget to eat…. a lot.”

  
  


Kili nodded as he took out some bookends and put them down. He dug out a few reference books that he settled down between them.

  
  


“Kili, I…”

  
  


“He’s not used to human interaction, is he?”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“The way he acts.” Kili turned around, looking anywhere but at Fili. “He’s either standing in the corner or right into your personal space. He’s not used to being around people.”

  
  


Fili licked his lips, turning to the side looking out the window. He diverted the conversation showing he knew more than he was willing to give. “You got a pretty good view here, you can describe your city scapes well with this.”

  
  


“Fili.” Kili’s voice was hard. He hated it when his brother did this.

  
  


“I miss reading over your writing… I read Frerin’s things and they’re so… different from yours. Good, excellent even but… not the same.”

  
  


“I would imagine so, he writes stuff for young readers, ages 10 and up. I do  _murder_  mysteries, kind of hard to keep that PG.”

  
  


Fili laughed. It was the first time he had heard it in a long time and for some reason it felt like a small win.  “You would be surprised what gets passed off as PG.”

  
  


Kili opened his mouth only to have Frerin return with a brightly wrapped package. He handed it to Kili. “Sorry, had to quickly wrap it.”

  
  


“You had to wrap it?” Kili frowned. “Why are you giving me a present?” _You’re making it more impossible to hate you._

  
  


“An office warming present.” Frerin laced his fingers and rested them on Fili’s shoulder as Fili wrapped an easy arm around his waist. “I thought, since you were having troubles it would help.”

  
  


Kili slipped his fingers between the folds of the bright paper, popping the tape. The heavy book inside was a writing exercise book, something to help with plot points, character developments and general idea formulation. He forced a smile on his lips, looking up at Frerin, screaming inside his head on how much he seriously wanted to hate this sweet, thoughtful bastard.

  
  


“Thank you.”

  
  


“You’re welcome.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kili was finding that being office mates with Frerin was rather enjoyable. Frerin didn’t bother him nor did he try to avoid him.  He didn’t tell him when to come or to go. He did, once, address the fact that the lights had been left on over night a few times but it was more of a friendly reminder. It was growing increasingly annoying that Fili would come at random to skip over Kili and go right to Frerin, pestering him in a low voice so only Frerin’s hums of agreement or subtle protests could be heard.

  


He had to endure them kissing, holding hands. It was like being on a rubber band bouncing  back and forth from being comfortable with Frerin and not wanting to be in the same building.

  


As much as he wanted to complain about Fili’s behavior it was still better than before. He got to see him now, instead of the occasional visit that lasted 5 or 10 minutes or an hour long, awkward, phone call. Fili would talk to him on his office visits, after seeing to Frerin first. He would sit down and wait until Kili would start to talk about whatever point he was at in his writings. These moments felt like a double edged sword of welcomed normality and a painful reminder of what was taken from him.

One day he was invited for breakfast at some diner. He hesitated but accepted. He went to the twenty-four hour diner. He came in expecting to see two blond heads but only found Fili alone in a booth. Next to his hand was a steaming cup of coffee. There was a small bowl of creamers that was left untouched and packets of sugar strewn about, empty with white granules spread across the pale, plastic covered, wooden table. He was flapping another packet of sugar as he waited.

  


Kili slipped into the booth across from his brother. A menu was dropped down in front of him as he asked for some water. The waitress was nice enough with light pleasantries but walked away before Fili could ask for more sugar.

  


“Fuck.” The blond sighed as he opened the last of the sugar packets and dumped them into his coffee.

  


“You want some coffee with that sugar?” Kili asked.

  


“No, I want more fucking sugar but she fucking just walks off soon as I open my mouth.”

“You’re probably scaring her. You do look… how should I put it?…Like Travis.”

  


“I look like the serial killer in your books, thanks.”

  


Kili shrugged. “Well you do.” He looked around. “Where’s Frerin?”

  


Fili groaned, leaning an elbow onto the tabletop. His fingers roughly carded through his blond waves, his sloppily placed hair tie falling out. “Not here.”

  


“Trouble in paradise?”

Blue eyes shot up, a hard glare on him. Kili glared back. He had his heart broken by the fucker right across from him- he was not going to get sympathy if they were hitting a rocky patch in their relationship.

 

“No, if you must know, _we’re_  doing fine.” Fili’s lip curled up between a smirk and a snarl. He took a little pride in being able to make Kili upset. The end of their relationship was rather a terrible dealing. They didn’t talk for over a month, it was only because of Frerin that Fili even tried talking to Kili again. And far as Frerin knew Kili was only Fili’s best friend and that was as much as he was going to know.

  


“Then why isn’t he here, latched onto your side like a barnacle?”

  


“Because _he_ suggested I spend some one on one time with _you_.”

  


Kili snorted spitefully. Right. Of course it was _Frerin_. The damn perfect angel. Why would Fili ever want to spend time with him alone without being pushed into it?

He folded his arms, looking to the side while the waitress came over and put down a glass of ice that she filled with water. She turned to leave when Kili snapped out. “What about taking my order?”

  


“Oh, uh… are you ready?”

  


“Simple pancakes, eggs and bacon. I want maple syrup.” He jerked his head towards Fili, “Toast, hash browns, steak, eggs. Bring a pot of coffee and for fuck sakes more sugar.”

  


The waitress quickly wrote everything down before grabbing their menus and grumbling about how rude Kili was.

  


“Watch it.” Fili growled. “You may not like us but you still have a job to do and ignoring us will only get you fired.”

  


She flipped her blond hair over her shoulder and huffed while she left, looking more bitter.

  


“Bitch.” Fili and Kili said at the same time.

  


They looked at each other and couldn’t help trying to cover up chuckles and smiles. They had been apart for a while but they did spend their lives together. They knew each other inside and out and pushing outside forces away with practiced ease. It was instinctual to protect each other from bias, only truly vulnerable when it’s dealt to each other by each other.

  


“So…” Kili leaned back in his seat. “Where is your usual arm candy?”

  


“Frerin’s visiting his brother. He’s in town.” Fili smiled softly. “You should have seen him. Bouncing around like a little kid, tripping over things. He sat by the window waiting to see Thorin’s car. He got the dog all riled up and I had to force him to walk, Charlie.”

  


“You have a dog… and you named it Charlie.” Kili slowly blinked at his brother. He always wanted a dog but Fili hated them. He would never allow them to have one.

“To be fair to you, I didn’t want to keep him but Charlie came with Frerin. Damn old thing too.” He fished out his phone. He flicked through a few things before turning it around for Kili to see a black and white dog sitting on a pillow bed with a big rawhide chew sticking out of its mouth. “He’s one hell of a mutt. Frerin’s mother couldn’t take care of him any more so she was going to put him to sleep. Frerin took him instead…...The idiot is allergic to him.”

  


“He’s allergic to the dog and he- why?”

  


Fili shrugged, looking at the picture. He then tucked it back into his pocket, looking up as he searched his memories. “Frerin says something like ‘it’s not the animal’s fault I’m allergic so why should they suffer for it?’”

  


“He’s a fucking saint.”

  


“Get to know him better, he’s short tempered, pig headed, and worries himself into the hospital. Twice I’ve had to bring him into the doctor for ulcers.” Fili heaved a sigh.

  


“That’s why you check up on him so often.” Kili realized. “To keep an eye on him.”

  


Fili frowned. “Well, yeah. Why-” His eyes widened. “You thought I was checking up on you? Dude, I- we laid down a line. He’s mine. You keep yourself to yourself and we’re good.”

  


“Well I didn’t know!” Kili barked as a waiter came with their meal. The man smiled and put everything down.

  


“Everything going well here?”

  


“Yeah, just… Bofur?” Kili squinted at the man.

  


Bofur smiled, his hair tied back, facial hair well trimmed. “Haven’t heard from my two favorite people in a while.”

  


“Because the bar you owned closed down, what the hell- you’re working here?!”

  


“A paycheck is a paycheck, can’t complain. As for complaining, what has you two so puffed up, bickerin’ as if you’ve been in a fight.”

  


Fili and Kili glanced at each other. Shit, how to explain this. Bofur was someone they knew for a long time. He knew them as a couple. He encouraged them whenever they had troubles with each other, didn’t take sides, and was always a voice of reason. They had once even mused that if Bofur’s Bar was still up and running they would have not broken up. That was the past though. This was the here and now.

  


Bofur clapped his hands together, rubbing them. “So, how can old Bofur help?”

“Uh, this isn’t something you can really help in.” Fili managed to say.

  


“Nonsense. The two of you were made for each other and that’s a fact.”

  


“Bofur.” Fili raised a hand. “We’re not together any more.”

  


The brunet looked as if he had been slapped. He let it slowly sink in before he slowly looked to Kili for a confirmation. Kili smiled sadly and nodded. He was going to say something when Fili’s phone rang.

  


He flipped his hair to the side and answered. “Hello?”

  


Bofur and Kili looked at Fili as the blond blinked, brow knitting.

  


“Are…” he slowly started to get to his feet. His legs feeling strange as they buckled. His only saving grace was catching his weight on the table. The sudden slam of his palm against the table startled some people sitting around the dinner. “Are you sure?”

  


“Fili?” Kili rose to this feet.

  


Fili wobbled on his feet, Bofur reached over and helped him sit down. His eyes were wide in shock.

  


“Fili? What happened, who was that?” Kili scooted out of the booth.

  


“There… that, that was Thorin. There…” He ran his hand over his mouth. “I need to go to the hospital.”

  


“Why? What happened?”

  
“F… Frerin was walking Charlie. He, he was crossing the street and they got hit by a car. Th-” he felt sick. “Thorin found them in the middle of the road.”


	3. Chapter 3

Kili couldn’t even get the car to a full stop before Fili had his seatbelt off and he was throwing himself out the door. Kili cursed loudly as his brother scrambled into the hospital, racing to the front desk asking about Frerin. The brunet parked the car, coming in at a much more sedate pace. A strange dark feeling stirred in his stomach, mostly caused by Fili’s own anxiety but also the fact that he had started to like Frerin. He was a nice guy, he didn’t deserve to be ran over in a hit and run.

 

He didn’t even know Frerin’s last name, so asking the front desk was not an option. Thankfully Fili was loud enough to follow.

 

“What do you mean I can’t see him?!”

 

“He’s recovering from surgery.” A tall man with long dark hair, tied back in a ponytail was trying to block Fili from a room. “He’ll- Fili, Fili, stop.” He grabbed Fili’s shoulders forcing him still, the plastic bag he held in one hand rumpled against the blond. His deep voice was soothing as he looked into panicked eyes. “Stop. He needs you, yes, but he has a  tube in his throat and they have him in a drug induced sleep for the time being until he’s well enough to waken. It will be some time until he’s ready for visitors.”

 

Fili made a terrible sound in the back of his throat. He swayed on his feet as if not sure how to stand. His hands came up to his hair and bunched in the long locks. He looked at such a loss, eyes glinting as he was on the verge of tears. His chest heaved with several breaths as he tried to calm down.

 

It stung Kili to see him like this. That it was someone else that could move his brother in such a way. It was a petty thought, but the ache was still there. He desired to reach out, to take hold of Fili’s hand, to pull him close and tell him that everything would be okay because all he had to do was look at him. See Kili, nothing else, and everything would be okay, but he no longer held Fili’s heart. Fili’s heart was taken from him and placed within the hands of someone death nearly claimed.

 

“I don’t-I-” Fili looked like he was about to be sick. “How did it happen, Thorin?”

 

The man shook his head. “I don’t know. I was a block from your house when I saw them in the road, just a hit and run. Frerin was struggling to get up, he-” Thorin swallowed and clutched the plastic bag in his hands. “Frerin is not going to be well for a while.”

 

“No shit, he was creamed by a car!” Kili barked, putting a hand on Fili’s back, rubbing gently. His desire to be of any comfort to Fili greater than his pain of seeing his once lover at such odds over someone else. “Just breathe, it’s okay.”

 

Thorin glared at the brunet. “Watch what you say, boy.”

 

“Fuck you.” Kili growled, his possessive nature taking hold. His temper flared due to the anxiety ridden situation. “I’m a fucking adult and I get to say what I fucking want. And you need to learn how to break the news to someone because he’s fucking freaked out right now!”

 

“And who the hell are you?”

 

“His best friend, so shove it up your-”

 

It was the sound of Fili nearly throwing up that cut them both off. Kili looked around for signs for the restrooms. They were behind them pointing down a different hall. He took hold of Fili’s shoulders and ushered him towards them. They barely made it inside when Fili staggered to a sink and threw up his coffee.

 

“The fucking nerve of that guy.” Kili grumbled as he turned on the faucet. “He doesn’t need to be an ass about all this.”

 

The blond spat, taking in a few ragged breaths. In all honesty it was Kili that was being an ass about the situation. He was escalating everything and making Fili feel even worse. He knew how Thorin worked. He was a blunt man by nature, never sugar coated anything, but when he did, as he did now then it meant something really bad happened. It didn’t help that Fili had little information to go by for Frerin’s state. What was the surgery for? Did he have to have something removed? What if he had internal bleeding that was missed?

 

What if?

 

What if?

 

“Kili.”

 

“It’s a no brainer that Frerin is going to need to rest. Cars are rolling death machines.” He had leaned himself against the wall beside the sinks.

 

“Kili!!”

 

“What?!” Kili shot a glare at his brother, the mechanic’s shoulders hunched over as his arms shook using the sink for support. He swallowed, asking in a softer tone, “What?”

 

“You’re making things worse.”

 

“I-” Kili gaped. “How?!”

 

“You just are!” Fili barked, squeezing his eyes tight. He couldn’t handle the turmoil he always felt when he was around Kili since they broke up as well as the chaos of nearly losing his boyfriend.

 

The novelist scowled. He shoved himself off the wall. “Fine.”

 

“Kili, I-” But Kili was out of the bathroom, leaving Fili behind. He bowed his head, squeezing his eyes closed. He could never win with that pig headed goat.

 

*     *     *     *

 

Kili stormed out to his car. He threw himself into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut as hard as he could. His fingers shook as he tried to put the key into the ignition as a heat burned in his chest and throat. He let out a scream, his palms hitting against the steering wheel.

 

How the hell was he making things worse?!

 

It wasn’t his fault that Frerin got hit by a car!

 

It wasn’t his fault that Fili couldn’t see Frerin!

 

None of this was his fucking fault!!

 

The novelist pressed his head against the steering wheel, gripping it until his knuckles were white. His eyes squeezed so tight that they hurt. He pulled in heavy breaths through clenched teeth as he tried to calm himself down. He’s always had a temper, most days he could keep it under control but today seemed to want to be a demon to everyone involved. What was worse was that he wanted to leave, just drive off and go home and forget this even happened. Leave behind Fili… leave behind… Frerin…

 

He swallowed trying to get the twisting, uneasy feeling to go away.

 

“It’s fine…” He told himself. “You don’t have to be here… you don’t belong here.”

 

He turned the key in the ignition, his fingers not leaving when the car purred awake. He swallowed as he remembered Fili bent over the hood of this very car, elbows deep in grease and grime. He had yelled for help, Kili had run out and found his brother with a knot of his hair stuck in the engine. His fingers had gotten caught in that impossibly tangled hair. He had been in the middle of trying to work both of them free when Frerin came over, pulling up, late due to stopping by the store to pick up things for a surprise BBQ. The man laughed at them. He nearly fell out of his car which earned him a glare from both brothers. He pressed up behind Kili, the feeling of his body was warm like the spring sun and he smelled of a blend of nuts and spices that reminded him of Christmas foods. Whatever he said was ignored, Kili had hated him at the time. Hated him so much and he was touching him, a hand on his shoulder, chest against his back. And with such ease he pulled the spark plug they had been entangled with. He freed Kili’s fingers and pulled out his own hair tie to bunch up Fili’s hair and tie it back so it couldn’t happen again.

 

Kili took in a few deep breaths trying to get himself out of the memory. Why was he even remembering that time? He had hated Frerin so much and… and…

 

...and it was the first time he saw the light that Frerin was. Soft and gentle, a sweet person that helped and cared. He showed that he listened to Fili when he talked about nuts and bolts, while Kili tuned him out. Frerin had shown a calm head and how to find the amusement in the situation. He also showed that all the bad feelings between them was only from Kili, because Frerin was innocent. He had no clue that Fili had been with Kili, he had no idea how deep their relationship was.

 

Like any other memory this one opened up others where the tall blond was laughing, smiling, pushing and pulling at Kili like a gentle ocean wave. He remembered the random times Frerin called him just to talk about the most stupid things and when asked why he would say, “because we’re friends.” He recalled the times when they would be out together, waiting for Fili to either come back or finish his project and they would whine and complain to each other about writer’s block or that their characters were being impossible to work with.

 

Then… then there was the last time he had seen him. Tired and hunched over his keyboard as he tried to push out the last few words to a chapter. He had several cups of half drank coffee littered around his desk. His head was tilted to the side as he wedged the thin cell phone between his ear and his shoulder as he tried to work as well as listen to something his editor had to say. Kili had taken pity on him and came up behind him. He tapped his shoulder then took the cell phone and held it up to Frerin’s other ear. The man mouthed a silent “thank you” and looked at him over the rim of his glasses looking like a puppy that was about to fall face down into sleep.

 

Kili swallowed and turned off the car. He pocketed his keys and went back inside where he found the waiting area. Fili was sitting in a lonely chair, hunched over the plastic sack that Thorin had been holding earlier. The strange man was no where to be seen.  He pulled another chair up beside Fili and sat down with a heavy thump.

 

“I’m not back for you. Frerin’s my friend, just want to… want to make sure he’s okay.” Kili mumbled, feeling as if he needed to explain himself.

 

The blond swallowed, looking over at his brother, his eyes red from crying. The novelist bit the inside of his cheek as he tried not to react. He had only seen Fili cry a few times in their lives; breaking his leg when he was little, from being forced to live with their father when their parents found out about their relationship, when they had broken up… Then there was now as his eyes filled once more with the hot liquid that rolled down his cheeks. He blinked a few times as his mouth pulled down, his arms tightening around the sack that squelched.

 

“I can’t lose him.” Fili’s voice was so hoarse and broken that it caused a jolt of pain inside of Kili’s heart.

 

Kili carefully put a hand on Fili’s back. His other hand reaching for the bag, it was the only thing he could think of that would reduce his brave brother to such a state. Whatever he had been told or seen… he had deduced the way the mechanic horded it that the bag had an answer to his question.

 

Fili pulled it away from Kili with a pitiful sound.

 

“Let me see.” Kili said smoothly, his heart skipping with fear of what he would find in this Pandora’s Box.

 

He eased the bag out of Fili’s hands, he opened it away from his brother’s line of sight and promptly felt his stomach curl, forcing bile up his throat as a heavy scent of copper washed up into his nostrils.

 

It was Frerin’s clothing, torn and soaked with blood, matted with fur and chunks of flesh. He had to come to the conclusion that the impact of the vehicle had simply popped the poor dog while breaking Frerin as if he was a glass figurine.  It was the only reason why so much blood was in there. He also had to wonder what was wrong with this hospital since they didn’t just throw away the clothing. What sick bastard handed something like this to a loved one of a victim?

 

He took a deep breath, the air soothing the burn of his throat from the bile. His dark eyes looked to his brother that was bent over, hands smoothing back his loose hair as large tears fell to the floor.

 

“The nurse... the nurse said they had to stop multiple points of internal bleeding, he’s had three metal pins put in… he’ll, he’ll never walk right again, that’s if he’ll ever walk again. That’s if he doesn’t go into shock within the next twenty four hours and… and...”

 

“I thought Thorin said he would be alright.” Kili’s breathing was coming in sharply with his exhale slow. He could feel it in his chest, the clench of fear and sorrow that made him want to cry. He had to stay strong, Fili needed him.

 

“Thorin was sugar coating it.” Fili scrubbed at his face, smearing his tears over skin and whiskers.

 

“Where is he now?”

 

“Talking to the police, making sure they have an in depth report… he-he’s the sheriff from the next county over.” The mechanic heaved a broken sob as his chin quivered. “He’ll, he’ll make sh-sure to c-c-atch the g-guy.”

 

Kili wrapped an arm around Fili once more, bowing his head, resting his brow against Fili’s ear. For the first time, in a long time Fili twisted around, his arms wrapping around Kili and clung onto him. His face buried into Kili’s shoulder as a heart shattering wail came from his chest. And all Kili could do was hold on to him as he felt hope drain from both of them.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kili looked out the window of the office. In his hands sat the book that Frerin gifted to him. It was open to a random page, the prompt he read set his mind into the motion of memory.

 

_Write a love scene from the point of view of our hands._

 

He swallowed around the lump in his throat. Guilt blossomed in his heart. The look upon Fili’s face, the knowledge that the most beloved person to him was torn so thoroughly in half was painful. Then, there was Frerin. Over a week in the hospital, three days in a drug induced coma. Three days of hugging Fili and whispering that everything will be okay. Finally he took him home, to Kili’s home. The very one that he had shared many happy moments with the blond.

 

He had only meant for them to get clean, do some laundry and get something to eat. He didn’t even know how it first started. What he did remember was Fili dripping wet, smelling of fresh soap in rumpled clean clothes fresh out of the drier. He stood in the hallway. Kili had touched his face, maybe to comfort him to show his support. Maybe he did it out of instinct, maybe he just wanted more than the touch of a hug.

 

Kili blinked slowly, unseeing of the things around him. He could still feel that strong jaw, the tingle of rough whiskers brushing against his palm. Warm breath ghosting over his wrist as Fili leaned into his touch. Kili gently rubbed his thumb over his brother’s cheek remembering every bump and divot of pores and pock marks that were not visible to the eye.

 

Fili had hesitated, his lips twitching before they pressed ever so gently over the heel of Kili’s hand. The brunet held his breath as if the air from his lungs would brush this moment away like aged dust in the window.

 

The rough calluses of Fili’s warm hand brushed over Kili’s. His fingers curled bringing Kili’s hand down further. His fingers were pressed against lips.

 

The writer stayed there, stunned. The simple, romantic gesture had been ripped from him, given to someone else, yet he was given it once more. And Kili was a selfish creature. He had always taken what he deemed his. He never shared and something in his mind told him that this was his chance to get Fili back. To have his beautiful brother beside him where he belonged. All he needed was to be reminded.  Remind Fili of their passion, the way they hand chosen to deny the laws of the world and fight fight to be with each other.

 

He pushed himself against Fili’s hard body. Their lips colliding in a clash of tongue and teeth. His fingers tangled in damp hair as he shoved his tongue in the blond’s mouth encouraging him to fight for dominance.

 

It worked. Fili pushed Kili up against the wall of the hallway. He grabbed Kili’s legs and hoisted him up, fitting between. Kili moaned into his brother’s mouth. Feeling Fili once more like this was like a drug and he needed more until he over dosed.

 

He pulled his mouth from his lover, tilted his head to the side to present his neck. He made a whorish moise when Fili took full advantage of what was given to him. Kissing and licking until he found the sweet spot and bit down causing Kili to scream and buck his hips. He begged for Fili to fuck him open, make him raw until he couldn’t walk.

 

He had been practically thrown to the floor, his clothing ripped off. He was manhandled so well that all he could do was beg and try to get Fili undressed. Finally they were naked and Kili was kissing Fili’s hipbone. His palm caressed the mechanic’s girth, his fingers fanning out at to brush against the heavy ball sack with every pump. Hands massaged his scalp as he found his way to the thick cock. He licked up the side before french kissing the tip. The satisfied groan from Fili felt better than any well won victory.

 

He hollowed out his cheeks, sucking his brother in as much as he could while looking up through his lashes. Fili was watching him with an emotion he couldn’t place. Not then, but now he could.

 

Fili had been in so much pain at the time that he showed his true colors. The colors of someone that had never wanted to let go. The colors of someone scared and so deeply in love that it made him lost. Colors that Kili dimmed by taking advantage of him. Of sucking him until his eyes rolled back then leaving him in the hallway while he got lube. Colors that he wanted back.

 

Fili was so beautiful under him at that time, as he bounced on his cock. His head thrown back while he panted and thrusted up into Kili’s warmth. Kili had laced their fingers together. He had never wanted to let go. He had wanted to have his brother’s dick so deep in him that he would always remember how it felt. But when they were done there was no satisfaction. No whispers of love, no smiles and endearing touches. They were quiet because when Fili came, he called two names, not one or the other but two. and within minutes he had cleaned himself up and left despite Kili’s pleas for him to stay and explain.

 

Now he was at work, several days had passed. He had gone to the hospital yesterday and was allowed to see Frerin. The man looked miserable, inflamed stitches on his face and on his shaved head. Bruises blotted out his natural ivory skin on his arms and legs. He had a cast over one foot and a metal looking cage over the opposite knee. One eye was under a gauze patch and his throat had been recently bandaged from the breathing tube being removed.

 

Fili had looked nervous, his eyes red from crying. He had excused himself, not looking at Kili. The brunet tentatively stepped up to Frerin’s bedside.

 

“Wow… How are you doing?” Could Frerin even talk? He looked so horrible.

 

“Better.” Came the reply that sounded like a voice being forced through a bucket of gravel.

 

“I-... won’t stay long.” Looking at Frerin he suddenly felt even more guilty for what he had done.

 

“Kili.” Frerin’s chest heaved with the effort to breath. “sit. I … need to… talk … to you.”

 

The burnet nodded, looked around where he stood before he spotted a stray chair. He dragged it over, taking a seat.

 

“What is it?” He asked as he scooted closer.

 

“Fili… told me… what… happened.”

 

Suddenly Kili felt cold.

 

Fili told… of course he would tell. That stupid, bastard…

 

“He’s only… human.” Frerin looked paler by the second, talking was taking up so much of his energy. “You’re… only human.” The injured man heaved a breath then coughed thickly. The sound so deep and rattling that Kili found himself up on his feet. He grabbed a tissue from a box on the bedside table as Frerin lifted his hand in a dismissive gesture.

 

“Shit… Frer…” Kili stopped in his movements.

 

Frering heaved several more breathes, his chest shaking with the effort. Kili waited, not knowing what to think or feel. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth preventing him from speaking.

 

“K-kili,” Frerin struggled to speak. “I… love Fili… If I… can’t make…. it… I want… you to… take… care of… him.”

 

All kili could do was nod. And like that he agreed. Agreed to something that he was starting to feel no right to be apart of.

 

Numbly he said his goodbye. He left passing by Thorin and Fili. He got into his car and drove to work. There he stayed. Now his mind was finally unwinding, free of being in the home he had made his brother cheat on Frerin within, free of the smells and sounds of the hospital. He could think of the past several days and try to come to terms with what had happened.

 

He had the one person he called friend in a hit and run.

 

He had tried to be there for this brother.

 

He had tried to steal his brother from said friend.

 

Said friend was dying… but still trusted him.  Trusted him enough that when Fili told him of his cheating ways had forgiven both of them… forgiven and entrusted with the love and cherishing of Fili…

 

Kili dropped his book as the twist of guilt made him sick.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kili took great care not to interact with Fili for as long as he could. He threw himself into his work, writing as much as he could, making his character live through what he wanted to do to himself. He pushed Travis through trial after trial, forcing him through nonstop batterings. He killed off Travis’ love interest with on a whim, tore the character’s life apart like an angry child ripping apart their favorite doll in a tantrum. He wrote as much as he could each day and night. He moved a cot into his office, brought his coffee pot from home. He lived off of take out foods and caffeine. He shut off his phone, uninstalled every messaging program on his computer.

 

He needed to lose himself in the words, forget about what he had done. He cut Fili apart. Once again being the selfish asshole he knew himself to be. If he put Travis through everything he wanted to do to himself, he he could get this single character to push through all the shit that he was throwing at him then it made him feel a bit better. He never told Fili but Travis was an extension of himself, the kind of person that he always wanted to be; doing the bad things, twisting the already twisted world around his finger and getting away with it. He was charming and smart and everything Kili wanted to be but couldn’t allow himself to be. He had made a character, pretty Beth. Sweet and lovely, fighting hard all the time, struggling from the slums to successful business woman. She was everything Travis wanted, with her pretty blue eyes and blond hair. She was everything Kili saw in Fili; loyal, daring, dashing, strong. She was the bright side of Travis’ dim and dirty life. But after what he did… he hated her, hated reading about her, hated seeing her name in his works. He wrote in a femme fatale that came; beautiful and seductive, good with words like a siren. The new character Cailin seduced Beth, made her confused, pulled her from Travis. And now?

 

Kili stared at the flashing cursor. Now Travis was having anger sex with Cailin, the two vicious forces pushed together in a perfect storm over the death of beautiful Beth.

 

His tongue felt dry as the lips he tried to lick in thought. There was something wrong with this story, how it turned and bent in plot. It wasn’t right… It was all wrong, it didn’t flow, it was just plopped in there! But every time he tried to press down the backspace key he hesitated. He couldn’t bring himself to delete over 220,000 words of work. It took him a lot of time to get to this point. Roughly two months and he was pulling at his hair trying to figure out what he could do to fix this whole mess. Soon his publisher would be on his back for a new manuscript but he wasn’t sure that this would make the cut.

 

“Fuck this shit.”

 

Kili stood up. He needed some time away from the damn computer. He looked around his desk, scattered with crusty old take out boxes and plastic forks. Wadded up napkins littered the floor clustering around an over full trash bin. A few were even on his cot that he had managed to not care about at all in the last few nights and slept on them. He scattered empty containers while looking for his keys. He cursed under his breath, lifting up what was best described as clumps of mess trying to find them. He needed to go out and eat again, maybe stop by his place for some fresh clothes. When he put his thumb into a lump of mold he grimaced. He would need to get a garbage sack as well.

 

There was a slam of a door that ripped Kili’s attention to the front of the office. He heard the vigorous giggling of keys before he heard angry stomps at were all too familiar. His heart stopped beating as he watched his brother march into sight. His eyes were bloodshot, tear trails puffy on his cheeks. He openly glared at Kili going past him like an angry storm.

 

“F-”

 

“This is how this is going to work.” Fili snapped out. “You are not going to talk to me. You are not going to look at me. Far as you’re concerned I’m dead. Do you get me?”

 

Kili felt his heart squeeze. His mind emptied as a terrible emotion gripped him. He felt it before, when he found Fili’s things missing from their home. He felt it when he stood in the hallway alone knowing that his brother left him for another man.

 

Fili hunched over, growling at Kili. “Do you understand me, Kili? I’m not losing him over a damn dirty fuck!”

 

Kili flinched. “I-” He took a deep breath, when Fili was angry he was scary. He was terrifying and Kili always buckled under him. Fili rarely got angry, which meant things with Frerin was bad. Real bad.

 

“Fucking clean up this shit.” Fili snorted. “Frerin isn’t letting you stay here so you can trash it.”

 

The brunet squeezed his eyes closed tight willing himself to speak up. “Why are you doing this?”

 

Fili barely heard him and it was the worst thing Kili could have said. Fili shoved Kili up against the desk.

 

“Why am I doing this?! I didn’t even want you back into my fucking life! Frerin was the whole reason I even fucked picked up the phone again to talk to your skinny ass! Why am I doing this?! Probably because I should have been by his side in the hospital when I was fucking you into the floor. Probably because he made me promise to be kind to you if he died!! Because- Because-” Fili’s eyes filled with fresh tears, his tough mask of anger and self loathing hardened as he cried. “Because I love him!! I love him more than life itself and you’re fucking it all up!! Again!!”

 

Kili swallowed around the lump in his throat. He trembled as Fili’s hands twisted in the front of his shirt. His blond head dropping forward as he cried. It hurt to hear him like this, to see him so broken. He had not even been this shattered when they broke up. Fili heaved his breaths, hissed them out between teeth as he dealt with a pain inside that was eating him alive.

 

“I can’t lose him.” Fili shook Kili softly. “I can’t, I can’t.”

 

“I-I’m sorry.” Kili put his hand on Fili’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

 

_Yes you did._

 

Kili clamped down on the truthful thought. He had. When he pressed up against Fili, kissing him, sucking on the wet drops on his jaw. When he moaned with his brother’s cock buried deep in him, he had planned on reminding Fili how good they were together. He wanted Fili to come back to him. He had hoped that this tragedy would open up those pretty blue eyes and the mechanic would realize he truly needed to be with Kili not Frerin. But then he saw Frerin on that bed, he saw how torn up Fili was, and he ran away refusing to see what he had caused.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Fili quickly pulled back. “I don’t **ever** want you to touch me again.” Fili sniffed, his resolve only getting stronger. “Every girlfriend, every boyfriend I ever had when we were teens you fucking ruined them, you took them away from me, you used them like tools for your own gain until I came running back to you. You’re not going to get your way this time… Not this time. He’s mine.” Fili pushed a hand to his chest. “Do you get me Kili? He’s **mine**!”

 

“Okay I-”

 

“No! No, you don’t get to say ‘okay’, like that is an agreement! I’m warning you, Kili. You try anything and I’ll rearrange your face.” Fili swallowed, silence falling between them. He drew in a shaky breath, “I mean it.”

 

Then he was gone, into Frerin’s office, noisily gathering things. Kili felt like his feet were coated in cement, his heart was hammering in his chest so hard he could feel his pulse in his neck. Fili was so angry. He never threatened without the promise that his was a man of his word. He would hurt Kili if he tried anything. He felt a jolt of adrenaline surge through his body when Fili slammed the door shut to Frerin’s office, a laptop, cords and books all piled in one arm. Kili didn’t know why he did it, he just ran. He ran out of the office, out of the building and straight to his car. He recklessly drove out of the parking lot, slamming his foot on the gas to go as fast as possible. He needed to put distance between him and Fili. He had to get away from everything and be somewhere safe. He shot home, ran into his house. He slammed the door behind him, leaning against it as his breath finally started to return to him. He slowly started to sink down to the floor, tears welling up as he cried. Never before did he ever think he would be scared of his own brother. The brother that used to kiss him with passion, who tenderly played his fingers over skin. The same man that put up with their family throwing punches and calling them whores and trash because they loved each other. The same one he ran away with to start up a new life with. He had once been Kili’s protector now he was the crazed wolf on his heels.

 

How did any of this get so screwed up? How did they get to this point from once loving each other unconditionally to this?

 

He cursed loudly, screaming as he slammed his balled up fists against the floor. Over and over again he beat against the floor until he could feel the physical pain mingling with his emotional. He pulled up his knees and ran his hands through his hair, letting out screams and choked sobs.

 

How did it all get to this point?

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Kili took another shot of tequila, the tiny glass being placed down on his desk harder than he had wanted. His eyes continued to scan over the letters finely printed out in front of him. He flipped the page, head swiveling to grab the next few words before the book ended. 

“What?” He spoke to the empty room. He read over the last few sentences again before shaking the hardback violently. The pages flopping around as he shouted out, “What?!” He flipped through the last few empty pages as if they were hiding some secret message that told him where the rest of the story could be found. “You got to be kidding me!” He snapped the book shut before tossing it to the side, “Frerin, you asshole!”

He leaned back in his chair, drunken head falling back and hands coming up to mingle in dark locks. He couldn’t believe it. He was hooked on a children’s book series that was for twelve year olds! It had more twists and turns than his own mystery novels. But what was worse was that Frerin left the best cliffhangers that he had seen in a very long time; which made him jealous and frustrated. On one hand he wanted to read more, on the other he couldn’t believe that Fili’s boyfriend was better at writing mystery than himself! And Kili had the damn awards for them! While Frerin… Frerin barely had a gold stamp of “New York’s Best Sellers” on it, which pretty much every writer got. Where the fuck were all the trophies and awards? Where they hiding in the office somewhere? Were they in some display case at his home? Where the hell were they and why the hell wasn’t he rubbing it into Kili’s face?! Kili rubbed his into Frerin’s face soon as he met the man. He preened and postured while the blond adjusted his glasses and peered at their finery. Yet this humble bastard, this sweet golden light that shared Fili’s bed was… was…

_He’s better than you._

He was… He was better than Kili. The fucker was noble, honest, gentle and kind, donated to charities all the time, and now that he’s out of the hospital and in a wheelchair he only got more fucking annoying. He read to children in the hospital, encouraged their creativity and gave them reasons to dream and reach for things to hope for. He was currently doing a project for a children’s charity where the kids write short stories and Frerin will help them publish it all in one book and every copy sold, the money goes straight into medical research and hospitals. 

It made him sick. 

Such a good guy. What would he do if he ever found out that Fili fucked his own brother? What would he do if he knew that Fili had a violent history of bar fights and even a bit of drug use?

Kili narrowed his eyes up at the ceiling. He was really starting to get sick of those spiteful thoughts. It was his own selfishness and spiteful behavior that got him into the spot he was in now; brotherless, loverless, now friendless. If only he could keep his dick in his pants and actually consider others’ feelings for once instead of his own…

He heaved a sigh while bending forward, grabbing his tequila bottle. He pushed himself out of his chair and walked the few paces it took to go to Frerin’s office. The door was unlocked so he let himself in. The damn place still smelled of the man, of leathery musk with a touch of honey and vanilla. 

Kili shut the door behind him, plopping down on the seat that practically had the author’s butt print from how many long hours he worked there. Tirelessly tapping away at his computer, scribbling on note pads… Kili reached out touching a small spiral notebook with Frerin’s last office notes. He pressed the tequila bottle to his lips and took a swig, the liquid sloshed around in his mouth before he gulped it down and let out a heavy breath. His eyes fell on a few framed pictures, one was of just Fili in sunglasses, slightly turned and smiling as if he had been in the middle of laughing. He could imagine Fili asking him, “What are you doing?” and Frerin’s light voice replying, “I want to remember what you look like when you laugh.” 

Then there was a photo of the two blonds together. Fili holding up the camera while Frerin had his arms around Fili’s shoulders, a classic pose for couples. Right next to that was the same position but they were kissing, a shimmer of light reflecting off of the small gap between their lips showing a flash of tongue. 

What would it be like to see them kiss? Not just small pecks on the cheeks and lips but… to be there, hearing the wet sounds mixed with soft moans. Fili pulling Frerin closer, putting down the camera in favor of slipping his fingers around thigh and pulling his lover over his lap, making Frerin straddle him. Kili knew he would just watch, drink in Fili’s body as much as he could, have his fingers twitch in desire to feel his brother once more. But his mind switched over to imagining Fili pulling Frerin’s shirt over his head, to seeing the dusting of golden hair over chest and dark colored nipples. He found himself palming his crotch as he thought of Frerin’s glasses reflecting Fili’s expression of appreciation as hands dragged down the writer’s chest. Frerin rubbing his clothed groin against Fili’s. Fili pushing Frerin off to undress him fully, then sitting back and letting Frerin open his jeans and pull out his thick cock. Kili couldn’t help imagining Frerin’s lips around his brother’s girth, swallowing him down, bobbing his head as Fili groaned with appreciation and bucked into the wet warmth.

Then the day dream changed on him as he wrapped his fingers around his own cock. He bucked hard into his fingers when his mind turned it to _him_ sitting in the chair. It was _Kili_ not _Fili_ being sucked on. Oh that sent a shock of pleasure up his spine. Then Frerin would look up at him, giving a lock lick to his dick before deep throating him. He would have to pull that cock hungry slut off of him turn him around and sit him right on his dick. Frerin would bounce like a whore on his lap, whining and whimpering for Kili to hit his prostate while holding onto the arms of the chair with a white knuckled grip. Kili would have a mirror right across from them to see how badly Frerin needed it. Needed Kili to fuck him raw and make his mouth go dry. He would cruely push the blond off of him, force him onto all fours then mount him like a dog in heat. Oh and Frerin would like that, he would claw at the ground because any time he tried to reach for his cock for relief Kili would stop him. And after he greedily squirted his cum into Frerin’s needy ass he would pull out, go over to the chair where he had tied Fili and shove his tongue deep into Fili’s mouth. He would growl into Fili’s ear, “Fuck us.” Then untie him and Fili, oh god, Fili would. He would violently shove Kili to the floor beside Frerin, plug him up with his thick cock and fuck Kili. He would pull out and go over to Frerin before Kili could get used it and Frerin would be begging next to him, begging like the whore he was. “Please, please, I- I need-” And it would be Kili’s hand yanking on his cock that would make Frerin scream against the carpet, arch his back while he impaled himself on Fili’s cock. It would be because of Kili, not Fili, that Frerin would be a debouched mess. He would be sore and begging for them to stop, but Kili hasn’t had the end of his fun. He would sit on Fili’s cock, pull Frerin to him and wrap his legs around his waist and get right back into that sinful body. He would fuck into his sore hole, pump his over sensitive cock. He would kiss at his forbidden mouth as he was over sensitized himself and before he would cum a second time he would growl into that perfectly innocent ear of his fellow writer and say, “You like fucking brothers, don’t you?”

Kili came harder than he had in a long time from his imagination. His seed splashed up onto the desk as he choked on a breath. He was slumped back in the chair, cock loosely in hand as he caught his breath.

He needed that to be more than just a dream, he realized. He licked his sweaty upper lip. He needed to figure out how to convince the two blonds to do him… but how?


End file.
